Study: Bottom Size Does Not Correlate With Arrogance

Proctologists from Johns Hopkins University have disproved early evidence of a correlation between bottom size and arrogance. "For a long time," says Dr. Carl Sheen, "people have thought that big bottoms tend to be associated with arrogance. But these early studies were flawed. They only compared the United States with other countries, and of course that Americans tend to have bigger asses and be more arrogant than people in the rest of the world." The new research, however, demonstrates how these early studies were flawed. "By incorporating other countries into our analysis it appears that bottom size does not correlate with arrogance. For instance, the French are also extremely arrogant and yet most have a small ass."